


Sick

by orphan_account



Series: Tumblr ficlets — series one – Angst [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: After-kiss angst, Angst, Castiel/Dean Winchester Angst, Dean Angst, Dean Winchester Angst, Destiel Angst, M/M, POV Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-18 13:09:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11291346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: He feels sick





	Sick

Sick.

Dean feels _sick_.

It’s so cold, yet so, so hot.

He’s shaking like crazy and he’s completely damp with sweat. 

He’s hot and cold and damp and dry and so very weak

He _hates_ it. 

No one likes being weak, but for Dean it’s more. Some people like to show themselves when they’re sick, they want the pity and the cooing and being taken care of.  


Dean _hates_ it.  
  
It’s a _weakness_. This is something to avoid, to _hide_ , to _be ashamed of_.

He’s supposed to be strong, to take care of his family yet here he is, sweating and shaking, skin red with the blood underneath despite how cold he feels.

Warmth is leaving his body, but the heat surrounding him heaves his senses.

Or maybe it’s the cold that he’s shaking away but keeps attacking him. 

He can’t tell the difference between _cold_ and _hot_. 

So fucking pathetic

He doesn’t remember drinking. He doesn’t remember anything but the fact that he was left alone.

_Again._

He’s he’s tired just enough to fall asleep, but he can’t. 

He can’t stop thinking despite being too tired for it.

So he thinks. Lets himself dwell on the memories that are starting to come back.

He came back drunk. He called Cas. They probably talked, but it was about nothing. Then, Dean leaned in and kissed him, not for the first time.

Dean remembered it, as always, vaguely clear. That’s the only way he could name it.

Every detail and every feeling were so _clear_ ,  each made the others vague. 

This drunk soberness, this burn that’s too hot, _Cas_ …

After their kiss, Dean went to the bathroom, hoping this time the angel will stay so he could _tell_ him.

But Cas left.

And… what happened then?

What happened next?

Why can’t he remember?

What’s wrong with him?

What the hell is wrong with his brain?

What’s broken in him _now_?


End file.
